I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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