My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
