Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think I am morally bankrupt
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
