some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize