This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
