So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
