using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
