Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
