Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
