I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
