I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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