Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
