You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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