i just had sex bonerless
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
