How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
