So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
