The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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