anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
