Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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