somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
