I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
