she was so not down for the gang bang
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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