She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
