Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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