He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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