found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
