JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
