Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
