Will you blow on my dice?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
