the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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