they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
