I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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