Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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