She's JV to your varsity
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize