I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
