why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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