She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
