About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You may now shotgun with the bride
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize