I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
that is very illegal...i love you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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