Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
