White coat. Heels.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
