We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the condom got lost in my hair
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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