Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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