I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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