OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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