I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
