Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
