Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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