The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
