Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
