It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So vagazzling was a success
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
