just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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