U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
