He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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