The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
