And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
