I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
