he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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