My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
