Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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