I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
